It's all right to cry...

I struggle with how to teach my kids that they can and should have and feel their feelings, but also that they can moderate their behavior - that they don't need to have a huge melt down over every little thing, but they don't need to stuff their feelings either.

The old Free To Be You and Me song, It's All Right To Cry (see the youtube video) is a great resource -- beautiful pictures of people young and old crying, with the words "it's all right to cry, crying gets the sad out of you... "

Kate and I recently got another book about Little Rabbit from the library. Why Do You Cry? (Not a Sob Story) by Kate Klise and illustrated by her sister Sarah Klise, features Little Rabbit (from Shall I Knit You a Hat fame, reviewed earlier) on the eve of his 5th birthday. Little Rabbit assertst that he won't cry anymore, once he is 5, and only wants those who don't cry to come to his birthday party. Of course he finds out that all his friends still cry, and comes to see crying in a different way. This is a book we're going to buy.

Giving

Tis the season... and so much of the focus is on buying and getting. In the midst of it, I was glad to stumble on the beautifully illustrated children's book "Mama, I'll Give You the World. by Roni Schotter and illustrated by S. Saelig Gallagher.

The story is about Luisa and her hard-working and slightly sad mother. Luisa's mother reminds her that she is saving money for Luisa to go to college : "Mama wants Luisa to learn everything." But Luisa is smart and listens carefully. She has already learned that mama is a bit lonely and nostalgic for her younger days. Luisa plots with Mama's coworkers and plans a surprise party for her. Although the book is slightly precious and it feels like Luisa is carrying a large load, the author keeps the text light enough and suspenseful enough to engage kids and grown-ups and the ending is so happy and full of mother-daughter connection that it inspires kids and adults to remember how good giving can feel.

[Other books featuring single moms are reviewed at Myrtle Jane Chicken, Literary Maven]

Go With Peace

Go With Peace is an activity book with exercises for pre-school and elementary aged children. The book provides a framework for creating "peace clubs" or after school programs that build children's peacemaking skills. These activities could easily be used in school or in already-formed clubs, like scouts.

The author (Kelly Guinan) frames the book with a 4-step model : Peace For Me, Peace For Us, Peace For Everyone, and Peace for the Planet. This model works well in two ways. First, children learn skills for emotional literacy and inner peace which will be important if they engage in peacemaking in the world. Second, it helps children develop empathy because they are starting from a very local, personal place.

The book includes some wonderful drawings and somewhat reproducible hand-outs. My favorite is a finger-spiral. Some seem a bit simplistic (peace word-find for example for a book that clearly recognizes that peacemaking cannot be learned through worksheets.

My favorite activity is the "squishy" as a way to create a tactile experience while talking about feelings.

Although not every activity resonated with me -- and I worried that some of the "peace for everyone" activities made assumptions about who would be in or not in the group -- the resource is definitely worth the $20 -- especially as it supports the nonprofit PeaceQuest.

Stirring Up Justice : Writing to Change the World

This book, by Jessica Singer, deserves special mention. It is a fairly small book, that describes in lovely detail a high school English teacher's experience teaching kids about activism. Singer helps students choose books that teach them both about justice/injustice and about activism while also always encouraging them to write about their own experiences with the same. She includes her wonderful hand-outs and exact assignments as a resource, as well as clips of student work. Student also illustrated their stories and shared them with younger children. She also includes an inspiring chapter on protest songs, sharing a bibliography of traditional songs but also including the songs that her students identified as meaningful. Finally, students created service projects as a culminating activity - all the while reading and writing to support their learning.

Singer, Jessica. 2006. Stirring Up Justice : Writing to Change The World. Portsmouth: Heinmann.

Sourcebooks for Diversity and Peace Activities

I recently had the pleasure of planning a mini-social justice workshop for middle school students. I used a lot of the online resources from Teaching Tolerance, but also drew from some books. I did not love any of them, which was a bit disappointing but found gems in each.


Cooperative Learning, Cooperative Lives : A Sourcebook fo Learning Activities for Building a Peaceful World, by Nancy Schniedewind and Ellen Davidson was written in 1987 and it does feel somewhat dated. I also found it hard to know what the right age-group was for the various activities. However, there are tons of ideas in this 538 page book and it is useful as a conceptual prompt. It also draws on multiple intelligences, with a variety of art, music and group projects. The underlying themes clearly focus on progressive politics and social justice issues.


Open Minds to Equality, by the same authors, offers much of the same material in an updated fashion and with a more direct and clear emphasis on issues of equality. The latest edition of this book was published in 2006. The chapters begin with activities to help students build basic group process skills, and then introduce complex ideas about prejudice, discrimination, multiculturalism and social change. Again, I found some of the activities geared toward younger children and some toward older children -- an index would have helped with this. Some of the activities also felt quite contrived - I wondered if middle schoolers would have given themselves over to the role playing without having this format as part of their schooling from the outset. That is, I think this kind of curriculum would make a much bigger difference as an ongoing project rather than a special unit. The resource section in the back is lovely.

Starbright : Meditations for Children by Maureen Garth was a different kind of book. Because so many authors argue that children need to develop the capacity for peace before being asked to take on the challenges of conflict resolution, many strategies for teaching peacemaking begin with yoga. Garth offers guided meditation for children as a means of helping them relax and develop their inner resources. She suggests using them at rest or bedtime as a way of helping kids build imagination and relaxation skills. I couldn't quite get my own children to stick with it but my older daughter does LOVE the sleepy CDs by Jim Weiss that do a similar thing.

Of all the research I did, my favorite book by far was What If All the Kids Are White? Anti-Bias Multicultural Education with Young Children and Families by anti-bias education guru Louise Derman-Sparks and Patricia Ramsey. Although it was more theoretical and academic, the authors put the ideas in a complex context while also offering really age-appropriate and practical suggestions for helping white children a way to think about race, identity, difference and justice while also holding children of color close and maintaining inclusive and loving childcare.

ADL resources

The Anti-Defemation League provides another wonderful online biblography for children's books that deal with themes of diversity and social justice. They also provide the World of Difference Institute which provides on site or online anti-bias training for educators at every level. And, they have e-mail newsletters addressing a variety of topics... so much great information.

Another great source for reviews of Children's Books

The University of Wisconsin hosts the Children's Book Cooperative. Among the many booklists are:

40 books about peace and social justice

50 multicultural books every kid should know

And tons more.. .

American Indians in Children's Literature

This blog is an amazing resource to learn more about Native American history and to find home and classroom resources.

Kids, Service, Books

Kate and I stumbled on 2 lovely picture books last night that address service in understated ways. The first, Pumpkins, by Mary Lou Ray is a story about a man who wants to save a field. He does so by growing and selling pumpkins around the world -- it has a bit of magic and wonder and prompted a great discussion about how people can solve problems and help the land and others in creative ways. Plus, it was about pumpkins, which is a hot topic around here right now.

The second book, Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney, is a classic, but it was the first time Kate really listened intently. This story traces Alice Rumphius's life -- Kate was intrigued by her aging process -- as she goes about 1) living in far away places, 2) living by the sea, and 3) making the world more beautiful. The book challenges all of us to really think about our place and purpose in the world, and it is really fun to discuss ideas of beauty with a small person.

LGBTQ resources

Children's media -- books included -- are significant sources of socialization. Kids learn the unspoken norms of culture by watching. Unfortunately, most media depicts very heterogeneous families. Furthermore, the creepy early-sexualization of girls emphasizes heterosexual romance as the pinnacle event of a girls life. It takes intentionality to open up the possibility that romance, love and family is expressed in a huge range of ways. However, the books don't have to pedantic (in fact, they shouldn't be) - - Everywhere Babies is my favorite -- a board book about the daily life of babies that mixes in images of all kinds of families.

Two Lives Publishing specializes in books for LGBTQ families -- they publish a baby book (journal) which looks beautiful. The online catalog allows browsing by age of intended reader and also has a section for schools. (An alternative baby book, The Making of Me, also looks wonderful and has gender-neutral language).

Mountainmeadow provides a booklist for children with LGBTQ parents, but these books (for children ages 2 - 12) would be great for all kids. (They also have a list for teens and young adults)

Rainbow Rumpus is a magazine for kids with LGBTQ parents and also has a resource page for parents -- many of the same books are reviewed here.

The Center for Children's Books has a bibliography through 2004 and many links. (This bibliography is unfortunately not annotated, but the newer ones are).

Resources for Schools / Teachers

Hardy Girls, Healthy Women produced Ugly Ducklings: a film "designed to educate and inspire people to take action against bias-based bullying and harassment gay and lesbian youth." The film is FREE for all Maine school districts and is available for purchase nationwide. They provide links for hate violence and suicide prevention.

The Safe Schools Coalition provides links to curricula, books, etc for different age ranges.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is one of the most established national organizations, provides resources for LGBTQ teachers and students and for increasing diversity education in schools.

Frameline produces and distributes films, including many made by/for youth (7th grade and up)

Maine Resources

Equality Maine is the leading activist organization in the state. Check with them for up-to-date information, actions and speakers, etc.

The Maine SpeakOut Project: "The mission of the Maine Speakout Project is to create a society that is inclusive and respectful of people of differing sexual and gender orientations by providing opportunities for non-divisive dialogue."

Peaceful Piggy Meditation

We are traveling this week and have been enjoying bookstore stops along our way. We picked up "Peaceful Piggy Meditation" -- a book that was introduced to us in Grace's first grade classroom last year and seemed useful for helping us all handle the challenges of travel. Unfortunately, the book does not hold Kate's attention as much as her other choice : A Fine, Fine School but both deliver great messages.

Peaceful Piggy Meditation, by Kerry Lee MacLean, is written both for children and their caregivers and provides ideas about how and why we should create intentional space for relaxation and reflection. The web site offers an online meditation to follow.

A Fine, Fine School, by Sharon Creech, portrays an overzealous principal who wishes to keep children and teachers in school 24/7 until a wise child talks him down (the illustrations are especially humorous). This book reminds me of Take Time to Relax, by Nancy Carlson, which similarly reminds us of the joys in unstructured time.

There are copies of both books on sale at BookCloseOuts right now - for some reason Take Time to Relax is not on Carlson's web pages, but most of her books feature an element of SEL and they're all very fun. We've especially liked "I LIKE ME" which encourages us all to say nice things about ourselves, "Harriet and the Garden" which encourages problem solving and dealing with mistakes, "It's Going to Be Perfect" about the gap between a new mother's ideas about early childhood/parenting and the realities, and "A Visit to Grandma's" about how a grandmother can break-out of traditional roles.

Children's Books update

Maine's Born to Read project is releasing the Peaceable Stories curriculum ! Get more info from their blog.


I forgot to include the booklist from Open Circle (a SEL program for schools, particularly in the MA area). The booklist includes very brief descriptions of books that address a range of social and emotional topics. They also offer a bibliography for educators, but most of the books were written in the 1990s.

Waging Peace

Lanteieri, Linda and Janet Patti. 1996. Waging Peace in Our Schools. Boston : Beacon Press.

Although written for an urban audience and focused on High School, this book is full of clear and practical ideas for teaching conflict resolution to young people and the adults in their lives. They ground their program in the Social/Emotional Intelligence literature. For example, they begin by teaching young children to name their feelings through a tool called “feeling boxes” (kids put a tongue depressor with their name on it in a feeling box when they enter in the morning, have an opportunity to share their feelings with words at morning meeting, and can move the depressor around as their feelings change throughout the day (36 – 37). They also break down problem solving skills for young children, drawing on William Kreidler’s (of Educators for Social Responsibility) work (42-43) :

1) tell what the problem is
2) find as many different solutions as possible
3) decide which solutions are good
4) choose one solution and act

The book’s greatest strength are the number of practical suggestions and activities that are included – yet it is not an activity book, because the ideas are presented as strategic examples grounded in educational theory and philosophical commitments.